The Ultimate Lesson :: Weekly Inspiration

April 29, 2013 0 Comments

You must love yourself unconditionally

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


My lesson in unconditional self-love has been hard to learn. A journey in the truest sense.

I think I will start calling it a love journey.

After my son was born the depth of my love for my husband and my tiny boy overwhelmed me. I knew without a doubt that my love was unconditional. My heart was irrevocably connected to both Erik and Cooper. Forever.

This has remained true, and expanded to include my daughter, Ellery. Total unconditional boundless love for these three beautiful souls I am so lucky to share my life with.

My unconditional love for my family comes easily. But the same love for me, unconditional self-love, has been harder to feel.

In my early months of motherhood I found myself feeling lost — to who I was, who I wanted to be, and perhaps most painfully, lost at how to love myself unconditionally. Call it postpartum depression, new mom stress, or hormonal imbalance. The names are unimportant to me.

Every mothering mistake I made had me feeling like a failure. Those of you who have children know that these mistakes are plentiful, so I was beating myself up pretty constantly.

There were even moments when I thought the best way I could love my husband and son was to just get out of their way, to take off and let them live a beautiful life, without me.

Yes, it went that deep. 

With every mistake and moment of self doubt I felt unlovable. I certainly wasn’t loving myself, so why would my husband and son love me?

Perhaps it was all the love my husband gave to me, unconditionally. Or the crazy unfaltering joy and love I saw every time I looked into my sons eyes. I started to see that what was missing wasn’t perfection.

What was missing was self-love.

I needed to love myself with the same unwavering abandon that I loved my husband and son.

As soon as I started loving myself up, I also opened myself to receiving the love that they had for me. 

The journey became all about love. 

I’m still learning to love myself unconditionally. The mean words creep in all too often. But just like I get challenged by my daughter’s screaming fits or the new nasty looks my son gives me when he’s angry (and oh, those looks really challenge me), the love never falters.

I can say without a doubt that I’ve learned how to love unconditionally, without expectations or a desire for perfection, my family and myself.



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